Not your fault
by daily-chan
Summary: You know it's not your fault." He slowly nodded, the words hitting him hard, although they didn’t come out of the mouth of the one who he needed them to come out off. Riku's pov


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters.

Paring: Riku/Sora, either friendship or more is up to you to see.

Rating: Teenager to be safe.

Warnings: Evil Kairi, some harsh language, OOC-ness.

This fic is unbeta's although it's checked with spell check twice and it showed no errors.

I have this little problem with the difference between "you're" and "your"…I never know when to use which, sorry for that.

Hope you'll like it :D

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sound seemed faded and dull.

Many people passed him by but he hardly noticed them as his eyes were fixed upon the yellow door in front of him.

His hands were slightly shaking in his lap, having reduced from heavier tremors during the hours that had passed.

His pulsing heart had settled for a much calmer beat then he had ever thought himself capable off.

He looked at his hands, which were reddish and cold, as his mind just seemed numb.

The feelings of fear, pain and desperation no longer overwhelmed him.

Looking up when a man approached him but let out a slight sigh when the man in the white coat passed him to approach some invisible person behind him.

When the man left his view his vision fell upon a mirror near the reception desk.

Standing up slowly he walked to the mirror, limping a bit and touched the image he saw in the mirror.

Blood red eyes stared back at him as his eyes traveled over the band-aids on his bloodied face and the bandages on his left leg under his ripped clothes.

His right arm showed a white cast which seemed strangely spotless compared to his blood-soaked clothes, blood which he knew was not his own.

"Can I get you something?"

A female voice called his attention and he shifted his vision in the mirror to the somewhat familiar young woman standing behind him, although he couldn't place her and didn't feel like putting any effort into it.

"What?"

He asked, his voice raw and hoarse, making him sound annoyed and rude but he couldn't find the strength to care.

The woman however didn't seem offended at his tone as she smiled lightly and repeated her question.

"Can I get you something? Like coffee…or clean clothes to wear?" She asked.

Slowly he looked back to his own reflection as he stared at his blood soaked clothes again.

"Clean clothes?" He asked, his mind unable to really think at the moment.

She smiled patiently.

"Yes, I imagine it would be nice to get out of those clothes…both for you and for him."

His mind finally seemed to awaken as the woman talked about his friend and he shook his head, more aware now.

"No." He said, a bit more forceful then meant as he folded his arms protectively around his bloodied shirt. The idea of letting go of anything that belonged to him was no option.

The woman however seemed to know what he was thinking perfectly and didn't react to his sudden outburst as she only smiled patiently.

"You don't want to let go of anything that's been his right now, everyone understands that…but wouldn't it worry him very much, thinking you are injured if he saw you in those bloodied clothes even if the blood aint yours?"

She asked softly so he wouldn't feel threatened.

Looking up to her slowly he didn't even wonder how she knew whom he was thinking off, as it seemed to be making perfect sense she should know.

He looked down to his clothes again and slowly unwrapped his arms, as even though he didn't really want to let go of his only hold of him, he also didn't want to do anything that would worry him either.

He slowly shook his head to show he didn't want to worry his friend and then let out a small sigh.

"I think your right." He said softly.

The woman smiled as she gestured him to follow her.

She led him into a room and handed him a green outfit to wear and he changed into it, disposing his clothes into a garbage bag slowly, touching the clothes one last time.

She gave him a cloth to wash himself with and he washed the blood of his face and hands as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.

Lettings his trembling fingers trace his now clean face on the mirror he noticed how pale he was as there was no color in his face, making his sea green eyes seem dark and the dark circles around his eyes even darker then they actually were.

His long hair hung flat around his face, as it was still a bit damp even though it was very dry and hot in the hospital.

"There…. doesn't that feel a lot better?" The woman's voice came from behind him.

Turning around he looked at her as she was holding a warm cup of coffee.

"I guess…" He said slowly as his eyes traveled towards the door he had been guarding for many hours.

"He's been in the room for a few hours now." She said carefully, as if expecting another outburst.

"I know." He replied softly as he looked down again.

For the first time she looked a bit surprised.

"You haven't gone into the room even once." She stated and he shook his head slowly.

"Why not?" She asked, talking softly.

"I don't want to see him like that." He admitted slowly and she was a bit amazed, as she knew he wasn't the kind of person to just openly admit something like that.

"Like what?" She asked softly.

"All quiet and still…pale and bandaged up. He's never still or pale. He's full of live and always cheery and happy. He never sits still."

"He's special to you isn't he."

"He is."

There was no shyness in his voice as he spoke and his eyes spoke of a love deeper then friendship could ever reach although he didn't seem aware of it and she couldn't help but to smile.

"It was my fault." He said slowly as he looked up to the yellow door where they stopped in front off.

His eyes looking through the window as they immediately found the still form of his friend and they scanned over his bandaged body.

"What was?" She asked, her voice soft, as it seemed it was just barely above a whisper.

"I wasn't paying attention. He was tired so I said I'd take him home from the party. It had been snowing all day and the road was slippery. Kairi had warned me to be careful but I thought she was overreacting."

He paused for a moment as he kept staring at his friend.

She didn't speak up as she waited silently till he would continue which he eventually did.

"The highway wasn't slippery at all and I know I'm a good driver so I speeded up a little. There was no one on the road and going the miles aloud sounded so stupid when there was no one around. And it went all fine, it was raining but nothing I hadn't seen before.

He had fallen asleep and I just wanted to get home.

When I left the highway I was driving a little too fast but nothing extraordinary, everyone drives a little to fast when leaving the highway.

It went fine at first and when I noticed it was a bit slippery I slowed down and drove at a slower speed."

He paused again and the she didn't dare to speak up, afraid he would stop talking as she knew he needed to speak about it and let go of his guilt.

"We were already driving like that for some time when we suddenly started to pick up speed again.

I wasn't pushing the gas so I realized the road was going down and it was much more slippery then I had thought it to be.

I tried hitting the brakes but they didn't work at all. Before I knew it I lost control of the wheels and they just started slipping on the ice and when that truck came up out of nowhere…"

His voice stocked as tears appeared in his eyes and threatened to fall down his cheeks.

"I couldn't get the car to follow my instructions and that truck didn't slow down one bit as it came straight at us, he didn't even try to avoid us.

I yanked at the steering wheel to get the car to get to the side but it moved into the other direction and suddenly Sora was in the path of the truck.

He woke up at the sudden movement but before I could react further the truck had already hit us full on."

He closed his eyes for a moment as tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

"Sora's side of the car was slammed completely before everything turned black and somewhere we must have turned as I remember going upside down a few times.

When I could see again it was so cold and my leg hurt so much.

Sora was speaking to me but I couldn't understand him and when I looked at him he was covered in blood but his eyes looked at me so worried but I didn't know why.

My leg was hurting so much and I felt like I couldn't breath as something was pressing against my chest. He must have understood I didn't understand him cause he undid my belt with his free hand as the rest of him was trapped somewhere.

When he did the pressure on my chest disappeared. I didn't really understand what he was doing till I saw the car sliding away in the ice.

It must have broken down under the weight of the car and Sora's side was already half under. I don't even know how long he was already in the water but he was already so pale and his lips were so blue."

He stopped talking as the she carefully seated him on a chair and sat down next to him. She laid a hand on his shoulder.

"What happened as the car slipped away into the ice?" She asked.

He didn't look up to her as he stared at the door again, probably reliving the memories of last night.

"It started to rain so hard suddenly…I found it so strange that the weather just suddenly turned so much worse.

Sora was trying to speak to me but I just seemed unable to hear his voice although I knew he was trying to reassure me everything would be fine.

Suddenly there were people around us that were talking but I couldn't understand them. Sora seemed to be trying to tell them something and they used something to cut him lose from the car.

A man came to my side and checked upon me, though he didn't pull me out of the car even as it began to slip further down.

They were yelling to each other but the car kept sliding down slowly till Sora was completely under water and then the ice around the car just suddenly collapsed.

The water was so cold as the car sank down but although Sora slowly started to float I found I couldn't get lose.

My left leg was stuck under the steering wheel.

I was so afraid but then Sora came down to me and started yanking on the steering wheel but it wouldn't come lose. I pushed against his arm, as I wanted him to go up to the surface.

I knew I wasn't going to get lose before I would drown and didn't want him to drown too."

Tears fell down his cheeks rapidly now as he unconsciously let go of the fear that had washed over him.

"But he didn't listen to me as he moved behind me and started to yank on the car seat. Somehow he got enough movement into it to pull me lose and I just dove up.

When I came up I was pulled out of the water by one of those man but when I looked around Sora wasn't there with me. I didn't even notice he hadn't followed me up.

Two of the man dove down and when they came up again they were holding Sora, but he wasn't moving and his eyes were closed and when they pulled him on to the ice they started to reanimate him… I almost killed him."

He buried his face into his hands which had began to shake again as he had spoken and she lied her arm around his shaking form.

"It wasn't you're fault Riku and Sora won't think so either."

"It was my fault! I was driving…I should have listened to Kairi."

He looked at his trembling hands but was surprised when she laid her hands around his.

"Kairi didn't know anything. It was much worse then anyone could have known.

And the truck that hit you two…that man had drunken ten times the legal amount.

If he hadn't hit your car you would probably have slammed against a tree.

Men with many more years of experience can lose control of their vehicle Riku. This was not you're fault and none of those who matter think it is."

Riku looked up to her with tears in his eyes as he finally recognized her.

"Namine?" He asked and she smiled.

"So your finally yourself again. I know its terrifying to see him like this but Sora needs you more then anyone else right now."

"Sora has Roxas doesn't he?" He asked softly and couldn't help but to sound a bit bitter.

Namine smiled. "Sora and Roxas are brothers. They share a special bond, but nothing is as special as the bond the two of you share."

Riku looked at her as a smile found its way to his lips.

"Why is it that you can always cheer me up?" He asked.

Namine smiled. "Maybe Sora has been rubbing off on me." She said and Riku couldn't help but to chuckle.

"Leave that to Sora."

Namine smiled.

"Go to him Riku…. he'll appreciate that a lot more then when your sitting here in the hallway."

Riku nodded as he stood up and took a deep breath and walked to the door. He looked through the window and stared at his friend before he opened the door and slowly moved in.

"Hey." A soft voice welcomed him and he looked up to see Roxas sitting near the window.

"Hey." He said softly, not knowing what to say.

"Sora will be glad your finally in the room. If you can stay with him then I'm going to grab a bite to eat with Namine."

Roxas said as he moved from the window a bit stiffly and Riku suddenly felt bad for staying away so long while Roxas spend all night at Sora's side.

"She was wrong you know."

Riku turned around as Roxas stopped with his hand on the doorknob, not facing him.

"What?"

"Kairi had no right to accuse you."

Roxas slowly turned around and looked at Riku, his blue eyes staring at him seriously.

"The accident wasn't your fault."

Riku looked at Roxas and swallowed as he slowly nodded, the words hitting him harder then he wanted to let the blond know, although they didn't come out of the mouth of the one who he needed them to come out off.

Roxas' eyes shifted to Sora's silent form before he walked out of the door without another word.

Riku stared at the door for a moment longer before he turned to the bed and took a seat on the chair next to the bed.

He let his eyes travel over Sora's still form and his heart broke as he saw the bandages covering his arms and legs, being slightly soaked through at some spots.

There was a large bandage around his head and around his neck and Riku carefully traced the lines of the bandages there before he let his fingers take a hold of Sora's cold hand.

"I'm sorry Sora." He muttered as he laid his elbows on the bed and held Sora's hand in both of his hands and placed it against his face.

Tears fell down his eyes as he remembered Kairi's harsh words.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was still pouring outside when he was sitting in the chair across the doors to the surgery rooms.

It had been a little longer then three hours ago when Sora and he had been wheeled in.

They had immediately taken Sora away into the hallway that led to the surgery rooms while he had remained in the ER.

Several doctors had taken x-rays of his arm and leg to find his arm was broken. They set it right and put a cast around it before they bandaged his leg and nursed his other wounds.

He asked them several times about Sora but they wouldn't answer, only asked if there was someone they should call.

Finally he gave them Roxas' number and not long after that the blond, Namine and Kairi had appeared in the hospital.

Namine had just stared into the hallway, which Sora had disappeared into while Roxas had taken advantage of being Sora's "brother" to demand information.

Kairi however had walked to him as he was sitting in his chair and had looked at him with an expression he had never seen before on her face.

She looked at him with disgust, like he was a filthy insect.

The expression had hurt him, but her words had stabbed like a knife into him.

"This was your fault! Your responsible for what happened tonight, if you hadn't been there then Sora wouldn't have been hurt. You should have never come back to the islands, you should have rotten away in the darkness where you belong.

Sora should have never gone after you, he only went after you because he felt sorry for your lousy self.

It would have been better for everyone if you had just disappeared from existence!

You tried to kill him! You are a murderer!"

With those words she had walked away, almost knocking Namine over in the progress as they all looked at her shocked.

When they had looked back at Riku he had avoided their gazes, knowing what he would see in Roxas' blue eyes as the blond looked down and away from him, avoiding him till the doctors had came.

Riku had never felt as much relieve as when the doctor had told them their friend would be okay.

Apparently Sora's been bleeding from internal wounds but they had fixed that completely and that outside a concussion and several cuts he would be just fine.

They had brought Sora into the room and Roxas had disappeared into the room as well while Riku had stayed outside the entire night, unable to face any of them.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He placed a kiss on Sora's hand and looked at the brunet's slightly pale face.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered over and over again, guilt washing over him.

"Riku?" A soft voice called his attention after a long time.

Looking up slowly he felt his breathing stock as sky blue eyes looked at him hazily.

"Sora." He breathed out, as he couldn't stop himself as his free hand caressed his cheek softly.

"Oh god Sora…your awake." He whispered.

"Riku? W…. hat happened? Where…. are we?" Sora asked slowly, his voice a bit dull and raw and Riku quickly grabbed a glass of water and let the brunet drink with a straw.

"Your in the hospital, we had an car accident." Riku said softly.

Immediately Sora's eyes widened a little bit more, as he seemed to become more aware and clearly remembered what had happened as his eyes scanned Riku's body.

"Your arm…. leg." He sounded worried and Riku couldn't help but to smile a little, although guilt still overwhelmed him, it felt good to see the brunet still worried about him.

"I'm fine, you should worry about yourself idiot." He said a bit harshly but Sora only smiled to him.

"I'm okay…. tired…really tired…but okay." He smiled again and Riku felt his heart warm as he looked at the brunet who closed his eyes again.

"I'm sorry Sora." He said softly as his eyes saddened.

The brunet opened his blue eyes slowly again. "For what?"

"Almost killing you. For causing that accident." Riku said softly.

Sora blinked a few times before his entire face broke down in a warm and kind smile.

"It was an accident idiot." He said softly.

"Accidents happen, it's not your fault."

And those words out of the brunet's mouth meant more to him right at that moment then any other words could ever mean.

And as people came running into the room all he could do was smile a watery smile and mouth a thank you to the brunet who only smiled at him with the warmest smile he had ever seen.

And from him, and only him, he believed the words everyone had been trying to tell him.

It wasn't his fault.

The end

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This fic has been bugging me for a while now and although I'm experiencing a major writer's block at the moment I still hope you've liked it.


End file.
